Can you still be friends with your ex?


Can you still be friends with your ex?

A question as old as time, however, no matter how much we Google, it still does not have a definitive answer.

Although, shout out to all those who have had a crack at sharing their solutions on online forums (*cough* Yahoo answers) - Sheila W don't listen to Hbosman, you had some very good points.

I for one have spent many a hour drunk at 3am reading strangers love advice after breaking the no contact rule I vowed to keep. But alas, that drunk text happened, leaving me to sooth myself through the help of anonymous people on the Internet. 

[Which basically meant scrolling through the comments to find the ones which gave me the answer I wanted to hear, and ignoring any others which told me otherwise - SMART DRUNK SABS.]

Anyway, this is all a tangent. 

How I got onto this topic is because I had my Spotify on Charts Top 50 (yeah, yeah I know OH-SO basic). And I came across Justin Bieber's new track with BloodPop (side note: Who the f*ck is that?)

The song, aptly titled 'Friends' hears Justin sing in his angelic voice, asking a former lover, "can we still be friends?" over... and over... and over again.

Case and point: 
Know ur wondering why I been calling 
Like I got ulterior motives 
I know we didn't end this so good 
But u know we had something so good 

So I'm wondering

Can we still be friends 
Can we still be friends
Doesn't have to end
And If it ends  
Can we still be friends

I found that these lyrics posed a few conundrums... 

So, for the sake of this study lets just pretend I'm the ex lady friend of Bieber's (lol in what universe) and let me explain what my initial reaction would be to these phrases.

"I know we didn't end this so good"

Well no shit Sherlock, breakups normally don't end with hugs, rainbows and platonic feelings. 

More to the point, if it did not end well then I'm guessing someone *cough* you, acted like a bit of a dick, in which case SEE YA L8ER. 

Or, if it ended okay-ish, feelings will still be raw, therefore everyone needs space to heal and move on. 

Conclusion: Its probably not a great idea to be friends rn.

"Know you're wondering why I been calling, like I got ulterior motives" 

Firstly, speak bloody properly, it's "I've".

And secondly, haven't got a ulterior motive? HMMMMMM the pessimist in me wants to ask if you are in fact 100% sure you aren't just getting back in touch because you want some sexy time, or need a bit of a ego boost? 

Conclusion: Again, sorry it's a no from me.

"I was wondering bout ur mama" 


Conclusion: Jog on mate. 

Reality check: If you break up, it's for a reason.

Furthermore, life isn't a rerun of '50 days of summer' - it's never 100% amicable, no matter how much you say 'it was a mutual agreement'. That is just a load of bullshit, that we sometimes even lie to ourselves about just to make us feel A-okay (and that is absolutely fine - whatever gets you through). 

The truth:  It doesn't matter how much you say it, your not really fully onboard with sending your old flame back to their free and single life - it's nothing to feel guilty about, its just human nature. 3-year-olds don't want to share their Barbie dolls. Adults don't want to share their lovers (past or present) - it's just a fact, a matter of life.

If you are considering being friends with an ex it's usually because you still hold out hope that you will get back together. Or, even if you don't want to get back together you still want to keep them around or keep an eye on them... 

Neither of which is a good idea.

There's nothing worse than being with your BF/ turn BFF to hear them talk about their latest night out hook up. 

Sure, your exterior will ooze coolness and ease, maybe even a twinge of lad-ness (you know, for extra points just to reassure him YOU ARE SO COOL WITH THIS SITUATION RN).

But inside will be another story of elevated heart rate coupled with a fast sinking feeling. And then, a few minutes later before you can stop yourself you'll be making up some story about how you too went on a messy night out with the gals the other night and ended up 'having fun' *winky face* with a guy called Paolo (and mentally kicking yourself for watching reruns of Friends last night - god dammit).

In reality, if you let all those inward feelings out you would be suggesting margaritas all round a la Ross, and repeatedly saying "I'm fine" in a high pitched voice. [Narrator: She was not fine.] 

Because this, THIS is what being ' 'Friends' ' with an ex too soon does to a person.

 So, I repeat, should you be friends with your ex?

My standpoint remains unless you suddenly find them vastly unattractive - repulsive even, it's best not to be 'just friends' with your ex, at least until some time has passed and you've both moved on. See, those Yahoo answers have taught me a thing or two.

Oh and if you are someone who has a 100% no other ulterior motive ex-turn-friend. WHAT IS YOUR F*CKING SECRET!?

What are your thoughts on the topic? Comment below.



  1. I love your outfit! :)

  2. Catchy title! Makes you open the page!

  3. Haha this post made me giggle - "DON'T BRING MY MOTHER INTO THIS' lol xxxx

    1. Hehe thanks Holly :P
      I like getting a little sassy sometimes :)

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